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Full text of "The Ruhleben camp magazine"

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STRAIGHT FROM THE CELLE ! 



THE 

RUHLEBEN CAMP 
MAGAZINE 



N^2. 



APRIL 



1916. 



EDITORIAL. 




Q E hear on evry good authority that the sun enters 
Taurus this month, but we leave it to our readers' 
good taste not to make any improper use of this 
information. — At the end of the month Mercury 
is an evening star, setting at first W. bv N., and 
later W. N. W. What it does after that," goodness 

| only knows. — Venus is an evening s.<t'af this 



month; so ariej Gaby Delys and Marie Lloyd for that matter, 
but there is no harm in mentioning the fact. — There will be no solar 
eclipse this year visible from this neighbourhood, but the nightly 
occultation of lights in Ruhleben will take place at Q p. m. as usual. 
Geologists reckon the age of the World to be somewhere between 
40 and 100 million years. The Camp Magazine has been in -existence 
ten months only, so readers should not be too critical. There is still 
time for improvement. — After the Stone Age came the Bronze and 
Early Iron Ages (about 500 B. C.). Some of' the jokes in this paper 
are of even more recent date. Not all, but some. — rrhe population 
of the globe is estimated to be about 1,623,000,000; of this number 
less than 4000 bought the last number of the Camp Magazine. This 
must be seen to. — A year in Mercury consists of eighty-eight days 
only, while a day in that favoured planet lasts but one hour and a 
third. Some of us would like to live in Mercury! 



THE most pressing social need of this Lager is a trustworthy 
and authoritative "Who's Who in Ruhleben", and it should not be 
beyond our powers to produce one. The sample extracts which follow 
will make our meaning clear, and we feel confident that now "the 
suggestion has been made it will be acted upon without delay. We 
have taken the examples in question from our own circle of 
acquaintances, which is necessarily a small one; still they are enough 
to show how invaluable would be a reference book of this kind. The 
aim of "Who's Who" should be to convey accurate information in a 
breezy and intimate fashion without, of course, giving the slightest 
offence. This we think we have succeeded in doing below. 

A. B. C. — Received the title of K. G. on 6th. November, 1914, on 
which occasion his language is said to have been most impressive. 
Having entered Lager became member of Bar. 123. Principal occu- 
pation, reading back numbers of magazines, and colouring clay pipes, 
Is fond of music, but prefers the gramophone. Favourite hobby, 
resting; except on Sunday afternoons, may generally be found in 
Y.M. C.A. building. 

D. E. F. — Admitted to Lager about same time as above, has from 
that date taken a distinguished and prominent part in public life. Is 



a member of every Committee in the Camp, and has delivered lectuies 
on no less than two hundred and fifty different subjects, besides 
contributing Papers to many learned Circles. 

G.H.I. — A singularly forceful personality; is a non-smoking 
teetotal vegetarian, and an early riser. Does not shave, but wears a 
decollete shirt, and is said to understand Ibsen. Is called a genius by 
his admirers, though there are many entertain a contrary opinion. 
Posterity will decide this vexed question. 

And so on. 

THE idea of organizing a competition for budding orators is so 
good that we think it should be extended to literary aspirants. With 
a view to giving the scheme a start, we append a few specimen 
questions to test the capacity of our future novel writers, journalists, 
and dramatists. 

1. Write 50,000 lines on any subject in imitation of Mr. Hall 
Caine . . . Indicate also a suitable scheme for advertising the product 
of your genius. 

2. Write a thrilling Romance of the popular magazine variety, 
introducing an 80 H. P. aeroplane, a 12-cylinder motor car, and a 
radium mine. The characters must include a Hero with crease down 
trouser legs, and safety razor type of face; a svelte and lissome 
Heroine, with brave blue eyes, and a penchant for being rescued 
from positions of great peril; up to date Detective, with roll-top desk 
and telephone; Family Solicitor, with iron-grey whiskers and a 1 zed 
box. Scene should include perfumery department of Harrods; fall 
of heroine down radium mine (see above); and high life function 
at house of Ambassador for Uralia. 

3. Sketch outline of five-act Melodrama, to include following 
cast: — Ruined Squire, with white beard and tendency to have 
fits in second act; Hero as in Nio. 2 — moustache optional; red faced 
Rustic, who remembers old Squire when he was a boy; fast "Society" 
Woman who smokes Woodbines, and emits a mocking laugh at fre- 
quent intervals; Heroine, poor but virtuous, to the annoyance of the 
Villain, (evening clothes compulsory). 

4. Essay writing, (a) Ruhleben. 9. 45 p. m. ; (b) Ramble round the 
Reference Library; (c) My billy-can. 

5. Verse. Love's awakening; Ode to a Laundry cart; or Spring 
time in Spandau, at option of writer. 

6. Model letters for silly season on any of following subjects: 
Why get up? Why do we go to lectures? Do we want a Camp 
Magazine? Are Stunters stupid? 

A reliable correspondent sends us the following items of business 
and commercial intelligence. — The fall of Relief Funds by 
two points had an unfavourable influence on the tone of the Home 
market and has caused an all round depression. — Dealings in 
Ironmongery opened briskly with keen buyers, but since Dallis 
were taken off the market it may be considered as being stove in. — 
Gramophone Ordinaries are in brisk demand, with Lauder 
preferred, and Rag-time a good second. — Footballs: these 
highly inflated investments having reached a lofty level, quite out 
of reach of ordinary punter, now show signs of collapse. — Cricket 
ditto:. a hard lline in these goods is coming forward, and high quo- 
tations will appear shortly on the board. — Tennisgoods: a smart 
rally in these may be expected, with quick return from net quo- 
tations. — Mattrasses having been subjected to steam and 
hydraulic test are now suitable for single tenants. — Debating 



Society Ordinary (see Gas quotations). — Theatre and 
Amusements: lively to dull. — Baths and Wash-houses: 
demand sluggish, plungers shy. — Cubby-Hole Prefs: Recent 
crisis caused temporary set-back, but present holders are hopeful. — 
Swill-Tubs Deferred: active demand for clearance, holders 
awaiting transport facilities. — Casino Debentures: in eager 
demand by wealthy investors who seek solid value for cash. — 
Schonungs Ordinary: market weak and listless; after brisk 
winter season shows downward tendency. — Dry Stores: no 
quotations. — R. S. D. : see Dry Stores ; morning deliveries light and 
business generally dull. — Otto Ordinary: popular junior 
security; French buyers active, with Italian and Spanish support. — 
Home Rails: market dormant, with restricted monthly deliveries. 

CONTRIBUTIONS to this paper should be as facetious as cir- 
cumstances permit; descriptions of grave-yards are unsuitable, even 
though type-written. Articles should ideal with Ruhleben, though anyone 
who can remember what the outer world is like may favour us with an 
account of it. Undue flippancy should be avoided, or offence will 
be given to our learned readers (of whom there are many) ; on the 
other hand, subjects of too abstruse a character will mystify our staff , 
all of whom are quite ordinary people. Not one of them has even 
given a lecture yet! A few commas and semi-colons should be 
sprinkled about here and there, — not necessarily for publication, 
but as a guarantee of good faith. The use of lead pencils is 
compulsory, but writers are not bound to use blunt ones. Finally, the 
more articles readers write, the fewer the Editor will! 



NEW-comers so often commit solecisms and betray a want of 
knowledge of Ruhleben etiquette that the following simple rules, 
compiled for their guidance by an interned person of much experience, 
cannot come amiss. 

1. Always be polite to the Captains. It will not cost you 
anything, and will please them. 

2. Read philosophy. You will have need of it. 

3. Attend lectures assiduously; the subject is of no importance. 
If the discourse bores you, give a lecture yourself. Revenge is sweet. 

4. Be kind to the policemen, — such as they are. After all, they 
are human. 

5. Do not seek fame. To be unknown is to be distinguished. 

6. Do not despise your parcels. A sardine in oil is worth two in 
the bush. 

7. Do not be superstitious. Better a week in Barrack 13 than 
seventy-two hours in Barrack 11. 

8. Be patient with supermen ..... They are young. 

The following are some helpful criticisms which our last number 
brought forth. "Much too flippant and trivial. Give us something 
worth reading.'' — "Too serious; we dont want a 'stodgy' paper in 
Ruhleben". Can't you brighten the old thing up a bit?" — "Ex- 
cellent". — "Rotten!" — "Too much". — "Not enough." — 
"Let us have more pictures". — "Not so many illustrations, please; 
letter press is what we want!" 

So now we know exactly what to do. 

R. Xit. D. 



WHEN THE PIE WAS OPENED. 



"There were some Piemen 

■■ Super . . . not shy men .... 
And they wrote some verse .... 
.... It was, perhaps, sublime, 
But ... it did not rhyme . . . 

Or scan! There were lots 

and lots 

Of dots! 

Wild geese! . . We have much to say ! 



What is it? Tae kwae! 

Tae kwae ! 
R. H. P. and L. H. .... we bless 

you .... 

And the other members of 

The A and S. U. . . 

That is all that is all 

That we recall! 




SUGGESTED RETREAT FOR LIBERATED 
BUT HENPECKED RUHLEBENITE. 



THE following gentlemen who left the Lager for England 
on Sunday 19th. March carry with them the good wishes of all. 
Mr. L. G. Beaumont, Bar. 5; Mr. E. A. Coote, Bar. 10; Mr. 
N. W. Hawkins, Bar. 17; Mr. J. Hodgkinson, Bar. 4; Mr. D. 
Millington, Bar. 11; Mr. W. A. C. Roberts, Bar. 10. 

Mr. W. F. Mackenzie has been elected Captain of Barrack 5, 
in place of Mr. Beaumont. 




ur 



yAeatrieai/i^tey. 



What happened to Jones. 



Fresh life was fused into this 
rollicking, rather crude American 
^ farce, now getting somewhat hoary, 
*£■ by the tremendous /energy with which 
the title role was played, and by the 
obviously good spirit which reigned 
on the boards. When the people on 
the stage are smart on their cues, interested in their lines, 
and frankly enjoying the thing as much as you are expected to 
yourself, it isi 'impossible not to join in the fun, and laugh with 
them, however ancient you may find the "mistaken identity 77 
situation, however familiar the jokes and devoid of surprise the 
denouements. There was a go about this performance distinctly 
transatlantic. 

The evening on which 1 decided to find out what really did 
happen to Jones was incidentally the last performance, and the 
bustling progress from laugh to laugh was accasionally broken 
by certain actors playi'ng to the stage ; since the main object 
of the Theatre is the entertainment and edification of the Camp 
— whatever the views of the R.D.S. on this question — the 
spectators paying to see a show .addressed to themselves, this 
indulgence in private jokes should not be carried to such a point 
as to hinder fhe development or to break the atmosphere of the 
play. It is a thing audiences are quick to resent. 

I was surprised to find the stalls much more responsive to 
Jerome's serio-comedy, The Passing of the Third Floor 
Back, than that part of the hall most nearly corresponding 
to our native gallery. Have we no "gods" in Ruhleben ? or is 
the clue to the mysterious back benchers who, having come to 
laugh (on the understanding that the "Third Floor Back" was 
another wild American, farce) remained to scoff, to be found in 
the absence of women, and with their total absence a comparative 
absence of that higher feminine susceptibility to semi-religious 
emotionalism of the type exploited in this play? 

The responsibility for this play changed hands shortly before 
its production. This may account for the irresponsibility of the 
lighting, which seemed most of the time undecided as to whether 
it was sun-lit day or lamplit, evening; or were their antics of 
the red shaded lamp merely gratis supernatural effects, to be 
understood in correlation with the suddenly illuminated flat, the 
open door, the barrel organ, and the violin that sounded not like 
a child singing, nor a Cherub weeping, but like a violin being 
played rather badly and nothing else in the world? 

Much thought and care had been expended on the setting, 
and the general effect was good; but the stage was so crow r ded 
that crossings became lengthy labyrinthine windings, and several 



8 



pieces, notably the table and writing desk, were so inconveniently 
placed that all action about them was invisible to half the audience. 
One is disarmed in the criticism of such a play by the 
conventional impeccability of its ethical sentiments. To attack such 
a delightful Victorian low Church conception of the perfect man 
is like violently assaulting an inoffensive curate defiantly ready to 
turn the other cheek. The individual acting, especially that of 
several of the minor characters, was exceptionally good. West was 
clear and genuine, Wilson made a hit as the Jew. Much of the 
comedy was brought out with a fine strength we are scarcely 
accustomed to; but Anderson had unfortunately decided to give 
us the heavy sentimental for ,all it was worth, raising in the 
unaffected spectator that passionate desire familiar to those who 
have read Dean Farrar's Stories! for boys, to 'go and kick something, 
or somebody, hard. 

It seemed to me that the last state of that lodging house was 
far worse than the first. There may be people who like this brand 
of Christianity; personally, I prefer any of the gospels to that 
according to St. Jerome. 

After this emotional philandering, John Bull's other Island, 
was a welcome moral fillip. Considering the difficulty of the 
fob they had undertaken, the measure of success attained by the 
Irish Players was very satisfactory. Any producer, I should think, 
would find the play a difficult one; the last act, for example, 
wold test a good caste, being a conversation bolstered up neither 
by dramatic incident nor narrative movement — the "story ; ' having 
inadvertently found a premature finis in the preceding act. We, 
amongst other people, are still iold-fashioned enough to regard 
any love story in a play as the pivot about which the action will 
turn, and when the curtain falls on a mystic-political discussion, 
minus the heroine, we are apt to feel a little taken in. 

Much of the humour was well accented, especially in the act 
concluding with the scene between Merritt and Greene, a piece 
of good Shavian interpretation. It is a pity Greene cannot screw 
his voice up /an interval; its rumble, pitched about an octave below 
that of any male character present on the stage, is a trifle uncanny, 
and gives the lie to a most prepossessing appearance. 

Maclaren was a happy choice and a useful find. His cockney 
valet, occasionally disguised as a cockney butler, is fast becoming 
an indispensable ingredient. 

Just one word as regards Harry Stafford. He was excellent; 
his rich humour, which he had toned to just the correct key, put 
new life on to our straight stage : but he must be used ; with 
discretion. He is accustomed to all our attention, all the time; 
and we are accustomed to giving it him; neither he nor we can 
help it. This makes him a dangerous competitor, any action of 
which he is not the centre being bound to suffer, should he be 
present. We saw how the talk of the landlords suffered when 
placed against Harry Stafford peeling potatoes. He shoukFnt 
have been there; his presence was, 'I believe, an addition to the 
stage directions of the book; he might with advantage have 
appeared at intervals, taken his laugh and gone off with if; but 
to leave him sitting left whife the landlords were busy on the 
right was to give the spectator two centres of interest. 

H.'M. 



ml 






Mr. HARRY STAFFORD AS "PATSY FARRELL" IN THE IRISH PLAYERS' 
PRODUCTION OF "JOHN BULL"S OTHER ISLAND. 



10 



THE KITCHENS AND THEIH STAFF. 

ALTHOUGH the Kitchens are familiar to all, few of us ever 
consider how the work which is carried on them is 
accomplished, what it involves, and who does it. The following- 
particulars will therefore be of interest. 

The two kitchens in the Lager, which cater for the wants 
of some 3,700 interned, occupy the undivided attention of thirty 
men, in addition to the four Kitchen Inspectors whose portraits 
appear in" this Magazine. Their task is one of no little 
magnitude, for the Inspectors are responsible for the 
preparation and distribution of our Ruhleben bill of fare, 
from the time that the food is handed over to them by the 
military authorities. Constant attention to detail and an infinite 
amount of elbow grease are the principal factors by which the 
work of the kitchens is carried out. Early morning roll-call 
has no [terrors for the Kitchen\ staff, for their day begins shortly 
after four a. m., with the lighting of the fires for ■ morning, 
coffee; at six la. m. this grateful and comforting fluid is 
ready for transfer to the different Barracks. As soon as the 
last large can is got away theboilers are cleaned in readiness 
for the mid-day dinner; the necessary calculations are made 
for this most important meal, and by six-thirty the vegetables 
are being cleaned, and the meat is prepared. Every effort is 
made to vary the meals as much as possible. 

The flood-tide of activity is at its height by eleven-thirty, 
when the different Barracks begin to arrive to draw their 
rations; by one o'clock the last Barrack, with its inevitable 
contingent >of Oliver Twists, has departed. The ',Tea House 
kitchen, in addition to its allotted number of civilian patrons, 
cooks for the soldiers who are in the Lager. 

As soon as the last Barrack has filed out boiler cleaning 
begins, in readiness for tea. The attendance for this meal, 
though not so heavy as at mid-day, is enough to keep #11 
hands fully occupied, for there are numberless necessary items 
that require (attention.-. By five o'clock the Jdtchens are emptying 
for the last time, and the interval remaining until bed-time is 
occupied in a general "wash and brush up" for the day. 

The number of those who draw meals varies from day to 
day- Bad weather has an adverse effect upon the attendance; 
while the news that a popular dish awaits the billy-can soon 
spreads round the Camp, and brings a large influx of patrons 
to the kitchen. , 

There are, of course, in Ruhleben, as everywhere else, 
stern judges who are hard to please. These critics may rest 
assured that so far as hard and unremitting work is concerned 
the kitchens, at any rate, are beyond censure. 



< _. . 



••' 




%>- 






----- ;<- 



NEAR KITCHEN 



ERNEST L. PYKE 
HERBERT KASTNER 



END KITCHEN 



RICHARD H. CARRAD 
GEORGE FERGUSSON " 



Li-awings by C. M. Horsfall. 



12 



PHOEBE GOES TO THE THEATRE. 

IT was during the great mid-winter spring cleaning that I 
discovered Phoebe in an old coat pocket. I had practically 
given her up, and was overjoyed to find her. 

"My dear Phoebe, I am glad to see you again!" I cried. 
"We must celebrate this great (occasion. What would you 
like to do?" 

"Anything for a little life after all that quietness." 

"Ask for the moon right away, Phoebe. You know I'm 
ready to do what I can, but it's absurd to expect life in a place 
where everybody does nothing but talk, or go to classes." 

"Now you're trying to be superior. I hate people who 
never say a word because they think they're too clever for 
their company. In reality it's only stupid shyness anyway." 

"I dont object to people talking at all. What I dislike is 
that they generally talk about nothing as long as it fills lip 
the time." 

"Like you're doing now," interupted Phoebe. "So stop it, 
and take me to the theatre." To the theatre accordingly 
we went. 

"I feel quite excited," she whispered, as the music 
struck up. 

"So does the orchestra, to judge by the noise it's making." 

"I wonder why?" 

"I expect it's because the conductor is beating one time 
with his baton, and another with the pipe in his mouth, 'and 
that muddles them up." 

"Nonsense! They're not taking any more notice of him 
than he is of them." 

Then the curtain went up, showing us three people doing- 
nothing with extraordinary vigour. 

"Isn't it thrilling?" whispered Phoebe presently. 

"Rubbish! it's a farce." 

"It isn't. I'll bet you someone gets killed, so there!" 

"My dear Phoebe, the author is not in the camp. If 
only you'd listen instead of making silly remarks — " 

But she soon found something more to say. 

"Why is that man playing five finger exercises on his 
knee? Oh! look! there's a girl doing exactly the same on 
the handle of her sun-shade!" she hurst out. 

"Don't be ridiculous ! They're not playing five finger 
exercises. They're supposed to be nervous." 

"But do nervous people always tickle their knees?" 

"What on earth has that to do with it? These people are 
acting. You seem to — " 



»&r«fl 



15 



"Oh! Something is going to happen. I can see it is." 

"You beat me. The air is thick and foul, I can't see 
anything at all." 

She was right though. Something did happen; the curtain 
went down The audience roared with delight, and the hum 
of conversation arose. It died away, though, almost at once; 
the drum and the cornet were doing a stunt*) on their own. 

"What are they doing that for?", asked Phoebe, inquisitive 
as ever. i 

"They're just getting a bit back on the conductor, I expect, 
showing the audience that they have got the whip hand of 
him, and that he is really quite unnecessary." 

"I think it shows just the opposite." 

But the second act had started. Before us was a really 
stupendous scene. Drapery ,and paint were mingled with 
extraordinary effect and bad taste. 

"Whatever's that thing on the wall there?" Phoebe 
demanded. 

"How should I know? I didn't paint it." 

"But what's it there for? What's it supposed to be?" 

"It's to make the place look like a real theatre, — a 
real fifth-rate provincial (theatre, you understand." 

"Well, what do you expect?" she said, turning on me 
with real feminine inconsistency. "£ 10,000 scenery. You ought 
to be too pleased to have any theatre at all, instead of being« 
so particular!" 

"I'm not particular. I only want things to be done as 
well as possible. So that's all. Look at those curious marks 
we saw just now, supposed /to resemble antlers. Did they 
look like real .antlers? No. Were they necessary? No. The 
only reason they could have been there was because of their 
absolute hideousness, — unless they were intended as a joke, 
which I don't believe. People who paint that kind of thing 
couldn't make a joke if they tried." 

"Of course", I went on after a pause, "one can understand 
the weirdly shaped .-rooms. They're to keep the audience 
quiet, puzzling about the shape of the building, in which 
the room is supposed to be, when they're bored blind 
by the play. One can even understand the windows 
being so unnecessarily close to the doors sometimes. It is 
in order that the audience may get a shock, when any of 
the cast, after making use of the door, turns up again alive 
and well, and one realizes that he did not fall some twenty 
feet or so, but got away safely by the aid of the fire escape. 



By special permission of the Y. M. C. A. 



14 



At least, I think it is; though now I come to think of jt, 
perhaps they are supposed to make use of some aeroplane. 
Look on the programme and see if anyone's name is mentioned 
as having built an aeroplane for entrances and exits." 

"Don't be absurd! As if they could use a real aero- 
plane !" 

"That has nothing to do with it. Don't you see it would 
give the producers a chance to put another unnecessary name 
on the programme." 

"What, that dirty piece of paper? I threw it away." 
"I'd have you know I paid ten pfennigs for it." 
"You mean to tell me they charge for those thin'g's? 
Whatever for?" 

"If there were a reason, a good solid, valid reason why 
we should pay for them, you may be sure they would be 
given away. It's because they cost next to nothing to print, 
that we are forced to buy them!" And with that I bent down 
to look for my programme. By the tim© I had found • it r 
Phoebe had gone out, and having no matches left, I seized 
an early opportunity to follow her example. T. G-. 




Desperate attempt at escape; 
frustrated bij the barbed -u>ire. 



15 




IN our last issue we touched on the work of the Camp. 
School, in so far as it affects the seafarers in this 
Camp. Since then, [in spite of the voluntary subscription of 
25 pf. the attendance at the Nautical classes has increased, 
and many seafarers continue to find this a profitable way of 
spending their time. 

At a meeting of Nautical teachers, held on the 1.2th. March, 
it was agreed that more facilities ought to be given to 
certificated men who are studying for higher grades. 

In the Nautical and Marine Engineers Circles, the following 
lectures have been given since our last issue : — 

In the Nautical Circles, Mr. Venables, on "Steering-gear and 
Telegraphs"; Mr. Maldon, ion "Drake"; Mr. Copping, "Notes on 
Fans and Ventilators". Further lectures booked for this Circle 
are: — Mr. Smith, on "Magnetic Experiments with Demon- 
strations"; Mr. Davies ;to repeat his paper on "Fuel"; Mr. 
Kapp on "Aerial Transport"; Mr. Scholes, "A chat on the 
Manchester Ship Canal". 

M. E. A. Circle. Since our last report we have had a change 
in high quarters, Mr. Shaw having resigned his position as 
President of the Branch, much to the regret of its members ; 
however the post is capably filled by Mr. Peter Thomson, who 
was elected by a large majority. , Mr. A. Wechsler's lecture 
on Oxi-Acytelene Welding [was greatly appreciated by a large 
audience, and we (are in hopes he will favour us with a 
continuation of this interesting subject. Mr. L. J. Ball has 
created great discussion over his lecture on "Wage Theories", 
and we are anxiously anticipating his next, which is "The 
Wage System and Trades Unionism", with the hope that the 
theories are not too idealistic to be ultimately realised. 

Both Circles unite in giving thanks to the gentlemen who by 
their lectures, have (enabled them to pass their time in such a 
profitable manner. 

Thanks are also due to the Class teachers of both branches 
who, by their indefatigable efforts, have helped so many men 
to prepare themselves for further usefulness. 



1(5 



"Whe believe that |a grant is allowed by our Government 
"to the wives and families of interned merchant seamen. The 
"owners of the ship on which seamen were serving at the time 
"of their internment jare not legally required to pay anything 
"to them during the period of their internment, but what the 
"law may determine ,and what the shipowner may determine 
"t.Oi do jare ^ot always one and the same thing." — Extract from 
recent Shipping news. 

TO THE EDITOR. 
Dear Sir, 

No doubt the sea-faring men in the Camp are pleased to 
see a space in your paper, devoted to Nautical Notes, but 
surely something better might have been expected from the 
seafaring men than /that article, dealing in a feebly jesting 
manner with such (things as the decision of the House of 
Lords, on the question of wages, &c. As regards the question 
of wages, it is a very serious affair, indeed, and not at all 
a thing to practise cheap jokes on. The light-hearted manner 
in which the (writer of the article in your March No. handles the 
matter, makes ione almost doubt whether this man is a seafaring 
man at all. As he also shows a woeful ignorance of legal 
matters, in saying it is over and done with, it might interest 
him to know that a well-known authority on English law has 
declared that, "during hostilities it is extremely improbable 
that an authoritative decision on the common law will ever be 
given", and also further states iithat "the reasonableness of 
the action is to be determined by the ordinary Courts when 
peace is restored". The title and whereabouts of this book 
will be supplied by nie to this would-be intellectual giant, or 
if any other gentleman is interested enough to apply to your- 
self, I will furnish ( the necessary particulars on application. 
The remark about the five bob a week, undoubtedly made in 
order to say something, however feeble, about the Relief Fund, 
is too weak to deserve any comment. 

If this gentleman must write something, and no one wishes 
to think his spirit is not quite willing, please ask him to write 
something sensible, and ^something worth reading. 

Yours etc., 

"BITTER LAKES." 



"Lay him to Rest in God's acre, — 
Secure in his honest beliefs, 
That Heaven is prepared for the Junior, 
And H 1 is reserved for the chiefs I" 



HOMEWARD BOUND. 



17 




SICK BUT HAPPY ! 



18 

THE AUTOCRAT AT THE RUHLEBEN 

TEA TABLE. 

THANKS mainly to my firmness and tact we are quite a 
comfortable little party jin our Box, although at times 
Chippendale shows himself lacking in the finer feelings of 
modesty and respect. When the Kultur epidemic first broke 
out it was he who suggested that it be made a rule of the 
Box that none of its occupants should join any learned society 
formed in the Camp, and we had all agreed. 

I had suspected for some time, however, that Prodgers was 
preparing to blossom out into a High Brow. He had not had 
a hair-cut for some months, had recently purchased several of 
Musset's monumental shilling (volumes on Art and Literature, 
and had spoken frequently in terms of reverence and awe of 
the shining lights of the A. & S. U., who scintillate on Mondays 
from 6.30 to 8 p. m., before their dazzled admirers and 
pitying fellow Supermen. 

Chippendale, whose mind seldom rises above Nelson 7d. 
novels', except when, by chance, he secures the loan of the 
Decameron, or Tom Jones, and who pronounced the Reference 
Library a frost after having wasted a morning there looking 
through Lecky's History of European Morals, with apparently 
disappointing results, took him to task the other afternoon. 

"I say, Prodgers" he said, "would you be good enough 
to inform the Box whether it is true that you've joined the 
A. & S. U.?" 

"No, I haven't," replied Prodgers, colouring up, "but I've 
joined the Historical Circle. My qualifications would probably 
not satisfy the A. & S. U.; my career has not been academic; 
and then, you know, I've done no creative work!" 

"I rather thought you had", said Chippendale cynically, 
glancing up at the photo which Prodgers has pasted up over 
his bunk; "but if you must make an ass of yourself I hope 
that, for the sake of the Box, you will do it as unostentatiously 
as possible." , 

At this point I intervened : 

"I don't see, Chippendale, why you should object to 
Prodgers endeavouring to improve his mind and, at the same 
time, spread sweetness and light in the Camp. It is an 
excellent opportunity for him. The Encyclopaedia Britannica still 
contains a large number of articles with which the majority 
of us are unfamiliar, and should he decide to specialise in 
recent Scandinavian Literature, he will also find in the 
Reference Library quite a number of books on Chemistry 
and the Atomic Theory which, as everyone knows, are the 
best introductions to Ibsen and Strindberg." 



19 



Here the subject dropped, for the time-being, as our Peggy 
came in to clear the table, and after tea, Snooks took up most 
of my time. Snooks is a cattle dealer, and arrived in the 
Fatherland on business, on July 31st. 1914. Infected by the 
general thirst for knowledge in the Camp, he wrote home to 
his sister a few weeks ago, asking her to send him a book 
dealing with his line of business. That morning the book had 
arrived, and Snooks had already read a few pages with 
apparent bewilderment before asking me what the devil the 
publishers meant by giving the book such a name. I looked 
at the title and found that he was reading Maria Edgeworth's 
"Essay on Irish' Bulls", :and explained to him gently that present 
day breeders consider the book quite out of date. 

I think I will encourage Prodgers to scintillate. He could 
probably transcribe as well as anyone else in the Camp, and 
is really unnecessarily modest. But I expect he will soon get 
over this, and that in a few weeks I shall be adding him to 
the list of youngsters who would really be remarkably wise if 
they only knew everything which is contained in their own 
lectures. H. B. F. 




POSTERS OF THE MONTH 



20 




I remember that (whilst writing my notes last month a 
lovely early spring sun was shining, and I think everyone 
had hopes that the cold weather had said goodbye; but since 
then we have had another cold snap, and it is just 'these 
same cold snaps I want to talk about. ' My experience of the 
central parjt of this country is that late .frosts are a very 
frequent occurrence, and round this neighbourhood, which is 
absolutely unsheltered from the north and east winds, I should 
say they are still more frequent. Therefore, if you should have 
any young plants in your garden, or young shoots coming 
through from seed, do not forget to cover them up for protection 
from frost, particularly on those clear, starry April and May 
nights which are often the fore-runners of a sharp frost. You 
may say to yourselves, "It was not necessary last year to 
take these precautions!", but I would remind you that last season 
gardening commenced much later than I hope it will do this. 
I wonder if it occurred to any Camp gardener to save some 
seeds from his last year's plants, nasturtiuns, mignonette, 
etc.? for if it did, he should set them at once in a box, placing 
them in a sunny ,spot in the day-time, and removing them inside 
the Barrack for the night. By doing this he will be among the 
first to have them blooming in his garden. 

If possible, put a piece of glass over your seedling box, 
just raising one corner slightly to let the air in and the 
dampness out, for it is necessary to keep the soil continually 
moist. Do not forget (and this is important), to carry your 
seed boxes into the Barrack overnight, in case of a surprise 
visit from Jack Frost; but apart from this, it is necessary to 
retain as much warmth as possible in the soil, as seeds will 
not germinate properly /in a cold soil, and the cold night air 
will rob the soil of all its heat, thus 'retarding the process of 
germination. Other advantages derived from seeding in boxes, 
and therefore to be adopted (as much as possible, are the saving 
of the limited garden space at your disposal, and being enabled 
to plant out your seedlings from the boxes direct into their 
permanent places in (the garden. : Thus you will avoid the 
necessity of reserving probably half your garden space as a 







21 



sort of nursery. This will improve the appearance of your 
garden as well. 

Our friends in ( the wooden Barracks are certainly the 
most favourably situated, <as they have a good subsoil ready 
to hand, which is a great advantage, considering the fact that 
the stone Barracks are surrounded with nothing else but pieces 
of brick and* mortar. It is therefore up to the dwellers in 
the "wooden houses" £0 show the way to their less fortunate 
neighbours. 

I know that (there will be some difficulty in procuring 
suitable soil, but I ,think, if the Rennbahn Inspector, who is 
to be found .about the Camp most days, is spoken to very 
nicely, he will allow you to fetch enough good soil from his 
large store, just outside the barbed wire fence at the east 
end of the Lager, to enable you to freshen up the old garden 
soil of last year. It is not necessary to have very rich soil 
for growing such plants as we can best cultivate here, for 
overfeeding is just (as dangerous to plant life as it is to 
Ruhlebenites. 

Should any Camp gardener wish to make any suggestions 
as to further improvements, I shall be glad to incorporate them 
in the next article, and if he will hand them in at the Editor's 
Office, Fleet Street, they will reach me. 

Before I close, I would just like to draw the attention 
of intending purchasers of geraniums to the fact that last year 
a large number of old stock plants were delivered into the 
Camp, and to warn them to be on the look out (this time, 
and accept only this 'year's cuttings^ The old plants have a root 
stem half an inch or more thick, so the difference is easily 
discernible. I note that there is already activity among 
the garden lovers in the Camp, and I hope that this will 
continue without abatement .throughout the season. 

"FORGET-ME-NOT." 



MIRACLE! 

(suite et fin). 



/^e fut mon tour d'etre ahuri 
^^ Je fis un pas; elle sourit, 
Et repondant a son sourire 
Je fis deux pas; elle de dire: 

— Bonjour, Monsieur . . . . oh ! 

qu avez-vOus? 

— Mon vif regard devoila tout. 
Elle comprit mais la bergere 
Me taquina de voix legere: 



— N'aimez vous point votre logis? 
Que voulez-vous de plus, ici? 

Du linge frais chaque semaine. 
Point de labeur, aucune peine 
Boire, manger, jouer, dormir, 
D'un tel bonheur ai grand desir!" 

— Vraiment! alors? — Pauvre 

bonhomme 
Je sais: affreux? attendez . . . home! 



22 



BY THE WAY. 



OUR comment on the reduction of hot water facilities on Sundays, 
which appeared in our last number, was made public at 8 a. m. on 
Sunday the 12th of March. At 8,15 a notice appeared on the boiler 

house announcing the abolition of this restriction Who says 

that Camp papers are no good? 

IT has been decided to build a new boiler house to accommodate 
the increasing number of newspaper cuttings, notices, and anonymous 
announcements which now appear on the old buildings. 

Mr. FOSTER Kell's lecture on "Crossing the Atlantic" has met 
with a most enthusiastic welcome. Naturally; but why not "The 
North Sea"? 



THE premises occupied by the Special Order Department have 
lately been enlarged. This will, we hope, enable the department 
to deal with an order for two yards of cretonne in less than four 
weeks. 

IT is no good asking us to explain the Camp's latest puzzle, — 
the Balance Sheet. We do not know any more about it than the 
people who drew it up. 

A water polo club has now been formed, and a successful season 
is anticipated. A committee has, of ' course, been formed, and a 
suitable pitch secured on the plot lately occupied by the Hockey club. 
"TO BRITISHERS!" Why not sign your name? 

TINNED-LOTUS-EATERS. 



\J.-f^ — | 



-**hH~ 



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"I SAY REX, OLD MAN! I'M ALMOST BORED ENOUGH TO WORK!" 




13l&T^l(5UTT®n OT ClyEXA^S&TE) I^.AIZX\ENT 




0ERpiA®2^IAIy G8DUTI@Fic> 



C©@^^T3 H£T^T3S & 13AK£^EATS 




MSi^SW-^VA" ^^-i-awJMJM^w - ; ^wvwvw- g s ,'.«wvy«« S »i : »»m -'-" m k -~ r *^- -' 



REFERENCE LIBRARY. 

IN the spring of 1915 education in Ruhleben began a serious 
offensive : the Camp School came into being and into line with 
the Arts and Science Union, and the Education Committee 
determined that the march of knowledge, thus happily set going, 
should not flag -for want of supplies. In short, if lectures 
and classes did not thrive, it should not be for lack of books. 

With this end in view, . Mr. Wimpfheimer wrote to his 
friend, Mr. A. T. Davies, Permanent Secretary to the Welsh 
Department, Education Board, Whitehall. This gentleman 
interested himself in ihe matter, and by the end of July was 
able to report as follows : — "We are trying to do the thing 
properly. I am in communication with the Foreign Office, 
so as to insure that there shall be no hitch in getting through 
to you a goodly collection of educational works, which I hope 
will be the result of the appeal, which we are this week 
making, with the approval of the President of the Board of 
Education, to the Universities, a large number of educational 
bodies and private individuals in this country". The response 
to Mr. Davies' ,appeal was British, and the gradual result our 
present library. To mention only »one University : the Cambridge 
University Press sent a list of books, with permission to pick 
and choose up to the value of £ 10. And to mention only one 
individual: Sir Sidney Lee sent "the British Prisoners at Ruh- 
leben his very kind regards" and the latest edition of his Life 
of Shakespeare: 

A first consignment of four cases arrived in October — 
at the time -when soldiers were evacuating their rooms in 
civilian Barracks. Where JVIars had retired, Minerva entered 
:n, the Reference Librarian, Dr. Ettinghausen, receiving per- 
mission to bring his books to shelf and order in the Captain's 
room, Barrack 13. For ten weeks the Reference Library 
enjoyed Mr. Redmayne's hospitality, and at the New v Year 
moved into its present, more convenient quarters at the N. E. 
corner of Y. M. C. A. Hall. 

As to the future of the six thousand and more volumes 
now at our disposal, it can only be said as yet that the Board 
of Education at home has been considering their future for 
some time. Mr. Davies suggests that on that blessed day 
when the Camp breaks up, the books might pass into the care 
of the American Ambassador, who could transmit them in 
due course to the Belgian Minister of Education for distribution 
among technical, secondary, and elementary schools in that 
country. Meanwhile, any further and perhaps more feasible 
suggestions could be submitted to the authorities in London. 

R. G. L. K. 




•s&z 



Mr. MORV ADEN'S MUSIC 

to "The Passing of the Third-floor Back". 

WHILE one may question the need and even the desirability 
of music during the intervals of a play — and especially 
of the modern "problem-play" — there can be no doubt that the 
music composed by Mr. Quentin Morvaren for the above 
mentioned work lent an (added interest to, the production. If one 
fails to distinguish any marked originality in his music, and 
if his habit of repeating short phrases and figures as many 
as four times in succession becomes rather irritating, one 
may well take into consideration the trying conditions under 
which the young composer has had to do his work. Whatever 
else may be. said in this favour, Ruhleben is not exactly the 
place to stimulate original creative work ! The Prelude to 
Act I is in the form of a set of Variations — (the writer of 
these notes has to admit that until seeing a Programme after 
the performance he was blissfully ignorant of this fact, and 
trusts that the composer will not consider him frightfully 
obtuse!} — and is a very (effective, if rather reminiscent, 
piece of work. The opening bars suggest the Waldweben from 
"Siegfiied" so forcibly that one begins pleasantly to anticipate 
the piping note of the Waldvogel, and feels rather let down 
when the Pianoforte breaks in with something very like a 
Brahms Intermezzo. Towards\the end a more individual note is 
sounded, and the scoring of ithe closing bars is quite striking. 
The "Canzonetta" played between Acts II and III, also 
suffers from a lack of originality, but is, nevertheless, a 
charmingly melodious and expressive composition. Mr. Morvaren 
may safely be counted on to produce work of genuine merit 
in the future, for he adds to a fine musical feeling a capacity 
for hard work which many a more highly-gifted musician 
might well covet : and the lack of individuality referred to is 
by no means a bad sign, most good composers passing through 
a more or less imitative stage before finding their own style. 
The responsible authorities might at least have paid the 
composer the compliment of keeping the doors shut during 
the performance of the Prelude: the moving about of Tate- 
commers made it very difficult for those who were interested 
in the music to give it adequate .attention. 



RUHLEBEN MUSIC JIL SOCIETY. 

ON February 27th. a special orchestral concert was given, 
several works which had previously been performed under 
the conductor-ship of Messrs. Weber and Macmillan being repeated 
under the same direction. With the exception of the Serenade 




,:'v- 



EnUBBHHHn 



^KiiLiLjSv '■it.'-'-i: I 



27 



of Tschaikowsky none of the pieces went quite so well as at 
its original performance, but the concert was keenly 
appreciated by the very large audience. Mr. Bonhote provided 
agreeable diversion by his charming singing. At the Chamber 
Concert arranged by Mr. Pauer on March 12th. a programme 
of varying interest was presented. A most enjoyable 
performance of Mozart's String Quartett No. 12 in G, was 
given by Messrs. Marshall, Mcllwain, Williams and Schlesinger, 
their playing being marked by /a natural grace and simple, 
unaffected style which were wholly delightful. Of the Trio 
by Niels Gade, which brought the concert to a close, it can 
only be said that one marvelled that Messrs. Conn, Dodd and' 
Pauer should have taken the trouble to prepare it as much as 
they did, for a duller or more anaemic composition it would be 
hard to imagine. 

Mr. Lindsay's brilliantly rendered pianoforte solos and the 
singing of Mr. Charles Weber were very .attractive features 
of this concert. The latter gentleman made a most successful 
first appearance as vocalist, his highly dramatic singing of 
three songs by Grieg rousing the audience to enthusiasm. 

B.J.D. 



JIN ARTISTIC EPISODE. 

Scene: A Race Course. 

hA ADDER BROWN sat on the Grand Stand with his girl 
/ V Molly, watching the race. HIS SLOPpy appearance showed 
he was a bitt off colour, but MOLYNEUX the reason! He had 
made an EGREEMONT with her ithat if the horse he had 
backed won, he would ask her TOOBY his bride! The race 
was drawing to ,a close. "EVANS! Brown's jockey led easely! 
How he urged his BEESTON! Brown's colour was high as he 
yelled "R.A! R.A! Tally -HO, TOP First!" "Be quiet, sir!" 
cried an old gentleman in an annoyed tone; "that mare will not 
WIN, SIR!" Scarcely iwere these words framed when, to 
Brown's horror, he saw his HORSE FALL! He CUSSED 
ENergetically ! But the jockey, with the patience of J. 0. B. 
remounted his mare, and was able to WALK 'ER past the post! 
Madder turned to Molly with set-square jaw, and said: "MOL 
OWN I have won you! Something, however, WADE on her 
mind, and she hesitated for an instant; but a week later they 
were married by the BISHOP. When the ceremony was over, 
in came Pa, late as usual, having MIST his train, and gave his 
daughter his blessing. "Be GOOD, CHILD," he said, and let 
who will be clever!" 

NITCHEVO. 



28 




(D 



Ss; ^^ 





THE, BIRTH AND DEATH. OFAPUMOUR. 



29 



FOOTBALL. 



THE coming of the better weather enabled us to get into 
harness again on March 3rd. As is customary, we 
recommenced with our exhibition match. The teams were 
chosen by Steven Bloomer and John Cameron, and were as 
follows: — Bloomer's team. Nicoll; Lithgow, Miller; Brearley, 
Quinn, Bodin; Pentland, Bloomer, Harris, Garden, Slade. 
Cameron's team: f— £>tiUl; Stewart, Mills; Hartley, Wolstenholme, 
Lamb; Wilson, Perry, Dixon, Cameron, Hill. Referee: Warner. 
Linesmen: Astin, Mackie. 

Exhibition matches have alwavs been very popular in 
Camp, and from the point of view of the huge crowd of 
spectators and their keen interest in every incident proved that 
this game was no less popular than its predecessors. The 
result, 4 — 3 in favour of Cameron's team, was a fair reflex 
of the run of the game. 

For the winners Still gave a brilliant exhibition in goal. 
In all Camp football he has proved himself a really splendid 
custodian, but in this match he eclipsed all previous 
performances. Stewart was the best back on the field, but 
that is nothing fresh. But in this case it was particularly 
pleasing, as it shewed he has fully recovered from his recent 
injuries. Mills opened shakily but isoon got into his stride, 
and played a fine game. Like many other players in the Camp, 
Lamb proved more at home in these games than in the League 
matches and played grandly. Wolstenholme was as usual 
a tower of strength and cleverness. Hartley was to my mind 
the best half on the field. With such a defence behind them 
it was not surprising that the forwards had plenty of oppor- 
tunities of scoring, and they were not slow in accepting their 
chances, as the score indicates. 

. For the losers, Nicoll was in grand form, and Lithgow and 
Miller played well ,against such a strong attack. Bodin was 
unfortunately compelled to leave the field after twenty minutes 
play, and Heath took his place. Our halves played finely and 
fed us well enough. The real cause of our defeat was ■ the 
writer's inability ;to itake advantage of at least two easy chances 
of scoring. Slade, Garden, Harris and Bloomer all played 
well. Many people to whom I spoke consider it was the best 
game ever seen in Ruhleben. 

The League started again the following day (March 4), 
when the Boys' Barrack met Barrack 3. The latter were the 
favourites for the 2nd Division, but the Boys played them 
practically to a standstill, and- ran out easy winners by 4 — 0. 

The same afternoon a further 2nd League match took 
place between 2 and 8. It was generally thought that the 



30 



latter would have a light task in securing the two points) 
but after a very even game the result was a draw: 1 — 1. 

Sunday morning, March 5th was the meeting of the two 
old rivals 9 v. 4. Barrack 4 have a knack of upsetting all 
the "good things". On paper it looked easy for 9, hut actually 
they had to fight very hard to secure victory by 2 — 1, and no 
one could deny that a draw would have fairly represented the 
run of the play. 

Later in the day 7 played 8. It was a fast, interesting 
match, and 8 just secured the two points by the narrow 
margin of 2 — 1. Kastner for 8 was in fine form in goal, 
otherwise the score might easily have been reversed. Bar. 7 
is a much improved sidie and will win many games before 
the season ends. 

March 6. Bar. 10 v. Bar. 17. A fast, interesting game 
in which, as the score indicates, 10 were much the superior 
side. 

The results of the two afternoon 2nd League matches 
were 9 v. 11, 3—2; 5 v. 7, 0—0. 

March 7. Bar. 5 v. Bar. 11. The former team gave 
one of their best exhibitions, and won by the huge margin of 
7 — 3. Owen was in grand form^and jscored several goals. 
2nd league 10 v. 4. Result 9 — 2 
" Boys v. 17. " 4—1. 

March 12. 1st. League. Bar. 2. v. Bar. 3. The latter 
were much the superior side and won comfortably 4 — 1. 
1st. League, Bar. 4 v. Bar. 8. 9 — 1. A very hard fast game in 
which 4 were undoubtedly the better side in every department 
but shooting. Had they taken merely a percentage of their 
opportunities they would certainly have won easily. 

March 13. 1st. League: 7 v. 17 9 — 0. The winners were 
easiiy the better side and might have augmented their score 
with an atom of luck. Hartley 'was the great man of the team. 
2nd League 11 v. 2. 2—3 
15 v. 8. 0—2. 

Tuesday, March 14th. 1st. League. 9 v. 11. 3—1. Bar. 11 
were compelled, through injuries, to take the field without 
their two best players, Bodin and Bloomer. However they 
gave the prospective champions a good hard fight. \ It was 
a real enjoyable tussle and the score is a fair criterion of the 
game. 

1st League. 5 fv. 20. 2 — 0. j A splendid match, fast and 
clever. The winners' only advantage was in front of goal, 
but as this is the most important factor in the winning ( of 
matches, they fully deserved the victory. 

2nd D. 4 v. 3. 3—1. FRED R penTLAND. 



«■$ 



JUST BACK FROM RUHLFBFN • ! 



31 




"nursey dear ! WHO IS THAT funny man KISSING MOTHER?'! 

"that's your FATHER, dfar'. " 



32 



RUGBY. 

OWING to bad weather no Rugby was possible for a 
considerable period after the end of the Cup Final. The 
result of this long period of inactivity was shown in the 
play of the first match of the second round of the' League, pi 
which the Barbarians met the Harlequins. The Barbarians have 
been greatly strengthened by the inclusion of Scott, Ritchie, 
Mounsey and Charnley of the United Services, which team 
had to be disbanded owing to want of support. Scott and 
Mounsey were just the men required to make Blackheath an 
excellent all-round team, which fact was proved by Blackheath 
beating the Harlequins by 22 points to 3. As usual Harlequins 
put up an excellent game and, but for the want of a couplo 
of good three-quarters, would have gone very near beating 
them. 

The second match to be played was that between Bar- 
barians and Wasps. By means of the dashing play of their 
three-quarters the Barbarians managed to win by 11 — 5, though 
their forward play was pretty horrible at times. As is 
their way the Wasps were individually ■ good, but lacked a great 
deal in combination. 

There was a short pause after this match, owing to bad 
weather, and the next match to be played was Nomads v. 
Wasps, who got out their team at a few hours notice owing 
to Harlequins being unable to turn out. This match was 
extraordinarily fast from start to finish, and at times there 
were some absolutely "hyper-exciting" moments. Both sides 
tackled hard and low. The forwards, after the first ten 
minutes or so, were evenly matched, and there was very 
little to choose between the three-quarters. After many hard 
tussles the whistle blew, leaving the game a draw, nothing 
being scored. 

Blackheath appeared against barbarians in the second 
match. Blackheath played up well and combined excellently, 
but in spite pf all their efforts, the hard tackling of the 
Barbarians prevented them from scoring more often than once. 
The brilliant play of R. Scott' was responsible for Blackheath's 
try, which Smyth just failed to convert. The three-quarters 
on both sides are very speedy and, as a result, the play was 
very fast, and it is wonderful that the forwards managed to 
keep it up. 

The next match to be played was Nomads v. Harlequins, 
and again the Harlequins put up a brilliant game against a 
team superior in every department of the game. But they 
have to thank Nicoll for the score being so low, for it was he 



■ 



33 



'.,■'• z. >' •jJBLruaJ 



who did all the work. They have some excellent forwards 
who work well together, and it is unfortunate that they have 
not a better set of outsides. Nomads were far below their 
form and were lucky to win by 11 — 4. They have excellent 
outsides if only they would hold 'their passes. 

This "match is the last up to the time of writing, but 
some good matches are to be seen in the future, for instance, 
Blackheath v. Wasps, and Nomads v. Barbarians. 

As soon as the League is finished a series of international 
games will be played. As last year, four teams will be entered, 
namely : — England, Ireland, Wales, and Scotland, and the 
Colonies together. These should be very fine games and of 
great interest to all followers of Rugger. 

VILLAGER. 



MISFORTUNES WE ARE SPARED 



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Em^-acina Taxi? in Full jLiyht 



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34 




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GOLF JOTTINGS. 



A General meeting of the Ruhleben G. C. was held on 25th. 
Feb. in the Y. M. C. A. Hall, with Mr. G. Fisher in the 
Chair. There were about forty members present. The Hon. 
Secretary read a very satisfactory balance sheet, shewing a 
balance in hand of some M. 200. The members present shewed 
their confidence in the commitee ,by re-electing it e n bloc 
for the coming season. At the request of the Chairman the 
committee was increased from 5 to 6 members, Mr. Fachiri 
being ,e lected for that purpose. 

The next business was the question of the subscription 
for the coming season, and this was fixed at M. 5.00 in spite of 
opposition from one member who declared that he didn't see 
the fun of paying M. 5.00 for the privilege of knocking a ball 
into a condensed milk tin! 

There was a good deal of discussion as to whether the 
Club membership should be limited or not, and it was finally 
decided, in view of the shortness of the hour's play, to fix the 
limit at 135, the number of members then on the books being 
128. In conclusion, Mr. Fisher intimated that a third and recent 
attempt to secure the other half of the race-course for golf had 
unfortunately met with failure. By way of consolation however, 
he announced on behalf of the Committee, that the season's 
programme included the purchase of new stakes, flags, tins 
&c, — and possibly a new net, and that marked improvements 
in the course in general, and more especially in the greens, had 
already received serious consideration. The meeting then 
terminated with a vote of thanks to the Chairman. 

The season opens officially on April 1st., but I'm afraid 
it will not be until the end of April, when the football comes 
to an end, that we shall be able to take the course seriously in 
hand. A green committee has been appointed to carry out 
the promised improvements Jand to see that the course is 
maintained in good order. They mean to do their best, and 
feel confident of the loyal support and co-operation of the 
members in general in their endeavours to make as much as 
possible out of — well, nothing. One word more; Mr. Gummery 
has been elected to the Sports Committee, to represent golfing 
interests. He's a good man, and will look after us. 

MIDGET DIMPLE. 



5kf*W 



■ 



37 




GROUP OF GOLFERS AND JOCKEYS. 



TENNIS PROSPECTS. 

IT is intended to re-open the Tennis Courts, with perhaps 
one additional court if space permits, as soon as the settled 
spring weather arrives. Steps have been already taken to 
obtain the various renewals ,and requirements for the coming 
season, with a view to beginning as early as possible, and of 
having a full season's play, which will no doubt meet the wishes 
of most nembers, judging by the way some clung to the courts 
till the bitter end, last autumn. No doubt the Committee are 
glad that this year matters will be more or less plain sailing, 
and in view o r the fact that there is a satisfactory balance 
left over from last season, the commencement will not have 
such an element of financial uncertainty about it as to cause a 
repetition of anxiety on this score. 

The Courts, considering the site was not originally laid 
down for the purpose, stood the wear and tear of continuous 
daily play, such as those of a Club would not be called upon 
to stand, much better than was expected at the beginning, and 
there is no doubt that, by comparison with the other Games 
in this Camp, a greater amount (of amusement and exercise were 
afforded by them to the maximum of prisoners on a minimum 
of space. 



WHAT IT FEELS' LIKE — 



I 




—TO BE RELEASE I 



Hi 



MB Iti *URfeMi 



39 



CHESS. 



AS this copy has to be in the hands of the Editor shortly after 
the issue of our last number little time has been allowed 
to receive queries, or solutions to the problem given. In the 
hope that those interested may be successful we refrain from 
publishing the solution untill our next number. 

The following chess problem should prove of interest to 
Camp players. 

PROBLEM No. 2 
Black 




White 
White to play aud mate in three moves. 

We have much pleasure in giving an interesting game on 

the Caro-Kann defence. As is no doubt well known Caro is 

at present in our midst. 





WHITE. 


BLACK. 




WHITE. 


BLACC 


H. JENNINGS. 


C. S. TABER. 


1 


H. JENNINGS 


C. S. TABER 


1. 


P-K 4 


P-QB3 


20. 


Q-K2 


PXKt 


2. 


P— Q 4 


P— Q4 


21. 


Q— R 6 ch 


K— Q2 


3. 


Kt-QB3 


PXP 


22. 


R— Kt 7 ch 


Kt-B2 


4. 


KtXP 


B— B4 


23. 


PXP 


R— Q B sq 


5. 


Kt-Kt3 


B-Kt3 


24. 


R— Q sq ch 


K-Ksq 


6. 


Kt-B3 


P— K3 (a^ 


25. 


QXBPch 


K-Bsq 


7. 


B— QB4 


Kt-B3 


26. 


R-Q7 (g) 


Q— Ksq 


8. 


B— K Kt 5 


B— K2 


27. 


R(Kt7)XKt 


QR— Ktsq 


9. 


Kt— K5 


Kt-Q4 (b) 


28. 


RXPch 


K - Kt sq 


10. 


KtXB 


RP XKt 


29. 


KR-Q7 


BXPch(h) 


11. 


B-Q2 


Kt-Q2 


30. 


K— Q2 


B-K4 


12. 


Q-B3 


Q-Kt3 (c) 


31. 


RxRP 


R— Bsq 


13. 


Castles (Q-R) 


B— B3 


32. 


Q Kt7 


R— Qsq 




(d) 




33. 


P-B6 


K— R2 


14. 


B-K3 


Castles (QR) 


34. 


K— K 2 


KR-Ktsq 


15. 


Kt— K4 


Q-Kt5 (ej 


35. 


Q-Kt4 


B-B3 


16. 


R-Q3 


Kt'Q2)— Kt3 


36. 


P— Kt 4 


R-Ktsq 


17. 


BXKt 


KtXB 


37. 


Q-KB4 


K— Rsq 


18. 


R— Kt3 


Q-K2 


38. 


Q R6ch 


PXQ 


19. 


Kt— B 5 


P-QKt3 (f) 


39. 


R— R 7 mate 





Hi 



40 







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■MHH 



41 




doubt it said the Carpenter* ^ 

& shed a Bitter Te&r { 



FOOTBALL GROUP. 

Owing to a mistake on the part of the photographer, the 
football photograph has not been delivered to the printer, 
and we are consequently unable to publish it. We hope to 
insert photograph in a later number. 



42 



SLAVES OF THE GUN. 



' "T*he Furnace was thy Mother, 

■*■ The Brain of Man thy Sire ; 
Our scorched hands prepared thy Bed 
Of flaming Coal, and cursing, fed 
Thy white-hot Natal Pyte. 



For thee we toiled and panted, 
And fed the furnace blast: 
Our eyes are dim, our shoulders crouch 
With watching round thy molten 

Couch, 



Great Gun 



our Slave at last! — 



We toiled, thy bulk accomplished, 
To satiate thy greed ; 
We worked again like fiends in Hell 
To fill thy hungry Maw with Shell : 
Now, forth! and serve our need!" 



But lo ! The Great Gun answered : 
'A god, no slave am 1 ! 
Through me shall Empires live 

and fall ; 
A Slave, say ye? Nay, Lord of all! 
Come, worship, or ye die! 



"Scion am I of Moloch, 

My Fire is slave of none ! 

Ye who invoke the Flame-God's aid, 

Know first the price that must be 

paid ! — 
— Stoop, Slaves, and serve — The 

Gun!! 



Hi r^tftial Experiments seem. to be suc'n apopuUr Amusement ofRuhiebeTutes .that Webeg to offi-r a. j-e>/ further .Suggestions 

to startle your/i'iends with. 






A SI tuple coun tench Aagc Those with already naithair S- If you have a bare' spot, why not with crimping irons anda few 

pattern might he amusing ddeancut face might try a try a hg-leaf Stencilled on your months growth undoubtedly 

though perhaps not quite 'Robey' fringe. Scalp? (AJ:jor &mp painter &- humourous effects could he 

original. GUjier) 



obtained. 



r 1 '' \ 




When one wishes to express 
Uifi Sweetly rw'ive ! .' 



Anexcellent Opportunity to 
revive the Old Dundreary 



Those wrtha. naturally criminal AndtheHypernorrnaimentarisi' 

type of face mioht adopt tin? hair VVHERf would he he without 
of a'Hypernormalmentalist' bis hair? y^ 



43 



CORRESPONDENCE. 



Dear Sir, 

I've had a shot at Your "FOUR EASY QUESTIONS" and 
I figure it put : — 

(1) It will take the twelve men practically, 656,167 years 
before they re-arrange themselves in every possible way. 

(2) The two strikers stationed themselves at the 16th. and 
31st. positions in the circle. 

(3) The Pondside proprietors got over the diffuculty in the 
following manner : — 

24 pints. 13 pints. 11 pints. 5 pints. 
The cans as originally filled, 

„ 

o ;■. 
8 ; 



First re-arrangement 
Second Do. 
Third Do. 

Fourth Do. 

Fifth Do. 

Last Do. 



8 

8 



13 

8 



13 

8 

8 



11 
11 
11 
3 
3 
8 



(4) I make it that the punter got back to Barrack Z 
poorer at the end of the day. 

Yours faithfully, A. LOFTER. 



To the Editor, 1st. March, 1916, 

Dear Sir, 

We interned civilians in this Camp number roughly 3,700 
men, of whom some 1,500 are, I am informed, on the books 
of the Education Department. It may be assumed that but 
a very small percentage of the total of 3,700 do not write 
letters, and it is a matter of fact that there is no single place 
where, the average individual can go for that purpose and, at 
the same time, be warm fin winter) and quiet. Would it riot 
have been well, could it not be so even yet, if the rooms 
leading off from the Y. M. C. A. Hall had been fitted with rough 
desks where members of the camp could conduct their corre- 
spondence in peace and quiet each day? The Hall, like nine- 
tenths of the space in the camp, that is both suitable and 
available, would still be at the disposal of the large number of 
students who are the chief occupants daily. Perhaps a little 
friendly discussion on the subject, through the medium of 
your columns, might eventually produce some of that spirit 
which is coupled with "take", or even lead to some alternative 
scheme for supplying a Camp need. 

Yours faithfully, 

A MEMBER OF THE SCHOOL. 






44 




WHIST DRIVE IN A LOFT 



By FRED GLUCK. 




THE G. P. O. RUHLEBEN. 



ure 



&3E&&&& %tl~t^ 




■■■■■■■■■IB 
45 



TRIOLETS. 

i. 

A Variety shows 

» The taste of the Camp : 
— From Ibsen, to those 
Variety Shows. — 
But people who pose 
Will sneeringly stamp 
Variety Shows 
"The taste of the Camp!" 



II. 

They say that we lie 
In luxury's lap ; 
If this we deny, 
They say that we lie ! 
Because you or I 
Take an afternoon nap, 
They say that we lie 
In luxury's lap ! 

NITCHEVCX 



'THE PASSING OF THE 3 • FLOOR BACK 
(Tot one peiforrr.inee only ' J 



© ■+«& -*-«3 -*■=*© •*"*© -*«3 <*-=«3 -<-«3 -*-«3 *■*© -*-«3 ©>»■ G !•»■»- ©>*• ©*->-©>♦©>■♦-©*»•-©*«-»-©>■•-©>■►-©>■»-© 



THE RUHLEBEN LANGUAGE FACTORY HAS 
ACCOMMODATION FOR ANOTHER 500 PUPILS!!! 

LEARN EVERY LANGUAGE BUT YOUR OWN!!! 

""" "7n fiVe'mInutes"!"" '"" 

ADVANCED CLASSES IN BILLINGSGATE, BY 
NATIVE PROFESSORS!!! 

ADDRESS:- SECRETARY, B. ABEL LOPHT, BAR. 666 

TELEGRAMS:- NIL D'ESPERANTO. 



1 

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